Since the stupid Oscars are on ABC instead of the incredible Once Upon a Time tonight, I am here to write a blog post.
I just heard crowds of people burst into exuberant cheers.
Anyway, I thought I'd hold my own version of the Oscars since all the real nominees are stupid.
Okay, first, I'll just go ahead and say I've only seen one of the nine nominees and I did not like it...at all! And all the others just look lame. Besides, since neither the Avengers or the Hobbit is on the list, it instantly makes it stupid. Heck, The Hunger Games isn't even on there! They could have at least had the Hunger Games.
Okay, rabbit trail aside, here is what I believe to be the best film of 2012.
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.
Betcha never saw THAT coming did you?
Worst Film of 2012
Snow White and the Huntsman
It was a tough choice for me. It was either going to be Snow White and the Huntsman or Les Miserables, but since I don't feel like being stoned/drowned/shot/burned/buried alive or otherwise obliterated in some other manner by die-hard fans, I decided to go with Snow White.
Besides, I'll admit my distaste for Les Mis is probably more personal opinion than it being a terrible movie. I've never liked musicals. I could guess what they were going to say next because I would recognize the rhyme scheme. The movie seemed to want to make sure the audience had it ABSOLUTELY clear that "heart" and "apart" actually *gasp* rhyme! I've never liked romance. The little respect I had for the film was lost when Cosette and Marius started going all tacky romance with the "we saw each other out of the corner of our eye on a crowded street now we want to get married" junk.
Oh wait. I'm supposed to be griping about Snow White, not Les Mis.
Wait wait! Before you start hurling pies and anvils at me, I'll make it up to all you fans!
The acting was fantastic. I can absolutely see Hugh Jackman being nominated for best actor. (Though I don't understand why Richard Armitage did not get nominated. He is by far the best actor I have ever watched on any screen EVER! Yes. I'd say he's even better than Elijah Wood and Viggo Mortensen. Heresy, I know.)
And Anne Hathaway also did a good job, though I don't get how she could get best supporting actress with that, what? Ten minute roll? I was very surprised to learn that Russell Crowe could sing.
The costumes and scenery were fantastic. The make up made people look grody, which was cool.
Maybe I'll do a longer post further explaining my feelings for Les Mis. But for now...
Snow White. Writing so horrible terrible it made me cringe before the characters even opened their mouths. ZERO characterization. Horrid acting on the part of the illustrious Kristen Stewart. Is it just me, or can she seriously only do one expression? You know, the blank stare of nothingness expression? The one I do whenever I feel...asleep? Yeah, that one. Pathetic, cliche, no surprise story line. Absolutely no theme. Stupid fantasy world.
Seriously. What were Chris Hemsworth and Sam Claflin wasting their time with that movie for???
There. You Les Mis fans satisfied Good.
Oh, by the way, I'm also playing a game right now. It's called, "how many times can I use the word stupid in a single blog post." It's pretty fun. And stupid. I feel like being as bad a writer as the Snow White writer right now. No judging!
Now! Let's move off the negative and onto some positive, shall we?
Absolutely, totally, no question whatsoever, goes to Richard Armitage.
Call me biased, but his performance of Thorin Oakenshield blew me away! You could almost feel how deep his emotions and tensions were.
As soon as it comes out, I'm totally buying it simply to watch it and stare at Richard Armitage's eyes. 1. Because the incredible amount of feeling they portray is indescribable. 2. I'm a teenage girl. Even though you might not notice because of how intelligent, awesome, and incredibly genius I am, I do indeed go fangirl over certain things in life. Richard Armitage is one of those things. Cookies are another. And ice cream.
But hey, if I were to nominate some other actors...I would do...
Aand yeah, Hugh Jackman.
Jennifer Lawrence. Absolutely no question there. I hope she wins it tonight, even if it isn't for the Hunger Games.
Her portrayal of Katniss was simply...wow. It was spot-on, perfect. I found it incredible how she managed to make Katniss so powerful and yet, so weak and helpless at the same time. It was a joy to watch, and she deserves an award.
Hmm...now what should I do?
Oh oh! I know! I'll make a list of movies I'm looking forward to seeing this year.
They are (loosely) in order of what I am most excited for...
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Iron Man 3
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
The Lone Ranger
The Great Gatsby
Despicable Me 2
Oz: The Great and Powerful
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2
Thor: The Dark Worlds
Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters
Man of Steel
So there you have it! My humble opinions on all this stupid stuff! Pretty stupid, don't you think???
Official stupid Tally: 7
Hmm...felt like more when I was writing it. Oh well.