Monday, July 22, 2013


For those of you who have not seen ABC's hit drama LOST, you probably assume that my title is malfunctioning on your computer. For those who have seen it, they know that I am now possibly going to have seriously good luck, seriously bad luck, a key to stop an underground hatch from imploding, or a nice trip to an insane asylum.

Yes, that first paragraph was simply there to make all non-Losties go bye bye. If you are still here....SPOILERS AHEAD! There. I said it.

Also, I'll be making allusions to some stuff, so if you are under thirteen or so, please go and ask your parent before reading on. Thanks.

Where oh where should I start? I suppose I ought to start with the characters.

The characters are what keeps you watching the show, even during the dreadfully cunfuzzling or boring parts. For the most part, they are strong, intriguing characters with interesting worldviews and back-stories.

(Although how so many peeps with so many bizarre backgrounds made it on that one plane, I'll never know. I guess I can just chop it up to the main excuse the writers use whenever they can't explain something: Because Jacob wanted it that way! Ha!)

I have two main issues that apply to nearly all of the characters. Issue number uno: EVERY female character on the show is sleazy. Every. Single. One. Even the Korean chick with an extremely strict and unforgiving father. Honestly, the least sleazy of all of them is Claire. The unmarried mom. (Don't get me wrong, I love Claire. It's just...well...a tad offensive, me being a female and all....)

Issue number two: I mentioned above how strange it was that so many people with bizarre backgrounds were on that one plane. (an ex-torturer looking for his long lost love, a vengeful conman, a father-exploding murderer, an insecure control freak doctor, a heroine addicted ex-rockstar, a police officer turned murderer turned bodyguard, a lottery-winning unlucky dude....) But I am also incredibly shocked at just how many idiots made it onto that plane too. The characters could just be so incredibly stupid sometimes! I mean, I get characters making mistakes and sometimes not being intelligent, but I'm serious y'all, some of this stupidity was just flat out...stupid.

*sigh* Okay, let's try to be a little more positive, shall we?

My Favorite Character

Desmond Hume

(Before I get serious, can we please all just take a minute to bask in the glory that is Desmond's hair? And his accent? I'm just sayin....)

Desmond Hume! Oh, how I love Desmond. The one character on the show that I NEVER thought was stupid, I ALWAYS liked, and was just a great guy. (Had to add that last part in cuz I'm kinda a Benjamin Linus Desmond's character arc was so spectacular, how he turned from a cowardly, average man to a truly brave hero. I loved his undying dedication to find Penny, but I also loved how he was unwilling to do anything wrong to find her.  Desmond is one of two characters to actually get me to cry while watching the show. (Charlie is the other. WAHHHHH!)

I also love Desmond's catchphrase: "See you in another life, brother." It always kind of intrigued me and I have thought a lot about it. There's something fairly Christian about it, which would make sense, Desmond being an ex-monk and all. But there's also something wild and mysterious in the phrase. Something harsh and almost bitter. I've also noticed that nearly every time Desmond says it, he has changed drastically by the next time he sees the character he said it too. I don't know if that made any sense, but here are some examples:

When Desmond and Jack first meet when exercising, Desmond is hopeful and determined. He is about to go on that "around the world" race thing, and he is absolutely determined to win it and gain Widmore's approval. He's even hopeful enough to give poor, confused, misguided Jack a little pep talk. He ends the conversation with "See you in another life, brother."

The next time he sees Jack, he's been living in a hatch on an island pressing a button once every 108 minutes. He's frustrated, depressed, and a little bit crazy. However, he is still hopeful as he leaves Jack with the hatch and another "see you in another life."

The NEXT time Jack and Desmond meet, Desmond is drunk and hopeless because he realized that a current will keep him from ever leaving the island. He's trapped.

You see what I mean? It's almost like a prophecy of some sort.

So yes, that is pretty much why I love Desmond. He truly is the only heroic character on the show. Well, him and Charlie. And Hurley.


Did anybody else almost start crying when you found out Desmond named his kid "Charlie?"




Moving on....

My Least Favorite Character

Juliet Burke.

(And yes, I went out of my way to find an unflattering picture of her with a goofy expression and a jumpsuit. Cuz I'm just that mature.)

I'll be honest, it's probably not entirely Juliet's fault that I can't stand the sight of her. Just look at it from my perspective.

I had spent over two seasons of Lost being forced to fast-forward countless "scenes" because all of the females on the island were inappropriate. None of the females ever did anything useful to the plot....ever.  I could not relate or sympathize with any of the women on the show because none of them felt real to me. (Keep in mind Penny had not shown up yet...and okay, yeah, I like Claire. But for the sake of my being an over-dramatic teenager, I'm going to proceed in using the universal forms when referring to female characters. Okay? Okay.)

Well then season three rolls along. The very first scene of the very first episode introduces you to Juliet. And heck, she seems kinda likable. She's living in a house by herself (shockers!) and she's funny when she burns her muffins and oh! she's having a book club meeting! She even has a pretty cool snarky line. And all this in the first two minutes of meeting her! Could it be that the writers finally managed to write a realistic female? Will we finally have a role model to all of the other poor lost gals on the show? Has a girl finally come to Lost that will actually help MOVE THE PLOT ALONG?

Do elephants sprout wings and fly to Antartica whenever they want a slushie?

Juliet turned out to be just as bad as the rest of the women. And worse, she had NO personality, NO change in expression, NO compelling backstory (heck, at least Kate blew up her dad. That's kinda...interesting), NO character arc, NO admirable traits, and NO POINT.

She was a plot character. A plot character is a character a writer invents simply to move the story along. They (should) appear briefly and then disappear as soon as their task is finished. Juliet was used to manipulate Jack in the third season. (Although the Others seriously outdid themselves there. Jack is so...Jack, I'm pretty sure he could be manipulated by a brick wall.) She should have gotten killed off, at most, by the end of the third season. Instead, the writers drag it out and try to make her death some big emotional deal at the end of season five.

You need proof? Fine.

The Kate/Sawyer relationship took THREE seasons to finally happen. Obviously, the audience wanted it to happen, so the writers dragged it out as long as they could. And then once it did happen, the writers stopped it again, adding more drama. This is good (though infuriating when it comes to Rumple and Belle) writing. This type of drama occurs when there are two main and likable characters that the audience "ships." THREE SEASONS.

Juliet and Sawyer? ONE EPISODE. And you don't even really get to see the romance. You just suddenly discover that "oh hey, Juliet and Sawyer are living together now. Big whoop." ONE EPISODE.

Quick writing lesson: A sure sign that you have a "plot" character is when you have to ask the question, "What do I do with so-and-so?" When you ask "What do I do with...", you better quickly find a way to remove or obliterate said character. They are a plot character and will simply be a drag on your plot. Trust me, I know. Main character should know what they need to do, and as an extension, you will know. You don't need to ask "what do I do" with them. When a character doesn't know and you don't know...get rid of em.

"Hey, we got Daniel back in England and we got Miles and Sawyer working important jobs as security. What do we do with Juliet?"
"Uhhh....could we send her back with Daniel? Leave her over there?"
"Well...we've uhh...kinda got her here and there are some idiot consum...I mean dedicated viewers who actually like her. We can't really get rid of her now."
"Hey! I know! Sawyer likes girls! Let's put her with Sawyer!"
"Oh, good idea!"
"Yeah, that's awesome! We'll blow a hole in the "Skate" ship, get to do more pointless filler "scenes", the audience will never see it coming, and we have a perfectly realistic reason for Sawyer to suddenly become a passive robot and never think an original thought for himself ever again! I love it!"


Sorry...didn't mean to rant. Can you tell I just love Juliet?

Favorite Scenes favorite intense scene was probably one a bit after Shannon died. Sayid is interrogating Benjamin Linus, who is pretending to be a balloonist whose wife died on the island. Sayid asks him how many shovelfuls the grave was. Benjamin stammers out an answer, and in a fit of rage, Sayid begins beating him mercilessly. He shouts at him; "No! You would remember! You would remember every shovelful, every ache, ever breath! You would remember!"


Like I said, intense.

My favorite sad scene was probably when Charlie died. *sobs*

My favorite happy scene was probably when Hurley gets that van to start working.

(I love Hurley. Don't you just wanna hug Hurley? He's like a teddy bear!)

My favorite romantic scene was probably "peanut butter" between Claire and Charlie. ^_^

You're welcome.

I suppose I ought to move on to the plot now.

Confusing. Awesome. Confusing. Awesome. LOVED the ending.

Yes. You heard me. I LOVED the ending.

Be happy to talk about it in the comments if anyone feels so inclined. Also, I've been doing a LOT of reading and research on some of the unanswered questions, so I think the show did satisfactorily wrap up. (I know what the numbers are! I know why the Dharma initiative came to the island! Hehehehe....) If you have any questions, ask in the comments and I'll do my best to find you an answer...and give my theories as well! :)

Well, that is the end of this rather long and ranting review.

Overall? It was good. Entertaining. Fun, if you can ignore the irritating parts. The acting was excellent. The scenes were excellent. The characters were fun to hang with for awhile. The plot was interesting.

But I seriously like Once Upon a Time better.

Please don't take this as me being a feminist, but the show was written by men, for men. And there is really no problem with that. But I think the show might have been better if they had a more well-rounded gender target. Or at least more female writers.

I also think after the first episode Jack should have become inexplicably mute and stayed that way until the series finale.

But that's just my opinion! :P

Oh yeah...and for your enjoyment...

See you in another life, brothers and sisters!


  1. Agree with much of this.

    Except the ending bit... but I've come to terms with why people who watched it after the fact thought the ending was ok... it's because you (universal you) didn't have to sit through all the advertisements promising answers that never came, read up all the excellent ideas that viewers had that would have been SO. MUCH. BETTER. ... AND you got to find out beforehand that the ending wasn't stellar, so you weren't expecting as much as those who watched it as it unfolded.


    I enjoyed the first couple of seasons... trudged through season 6... all for THAT?

    As for the unanswered question... you should watch this:

    :) It's fun. :)

  2. P.S. I like Once Upon a Time better, too (Actually, I like most shows that we watch better than Lost...LOL) but I think Once suffers from the same type of imbalance that annoyed you in LOST... in the lack of any noble MALE characters (which annoys me greatly). :)

  3. Haha, yeah, my mom and dad said they liked the ending better after watching it the second time through with us...but they still don't really like it.

    I totally get why you (universal you referring to all the peeps who watched Lost while it aired) wouldn't like the ending. If Once tried to pull an ending like that...I'd be very upset.

    However, for a show that I don't have any particular positive strong feelings for, it was a good ending. Totally un-Christian. But good.

    I think there are noble male characters in Once Upon a Time. The writers have said that, whereas in Lost they focused on fatherhood, on Once they are focusing on naturally (thankfully) strong female characters will take center-stage. However, I think it balances out well. David's an idiot, but Charming is pretty cool. And the most genius character on the show (Rumple) is male. August is a good, heroic character along with Neal Cassidy (second season). In Lost, none of the females were smart, helpful, useful, or meaningful.

    Haha, anyway, that's just what I think. I think the writers have kind've gotten their act together with Once. They've also hired more female writers like Jane Espenson, which I think is awesome.

    That video was awesome! XD I think the writers had no clue what to do with Walt...

  4. Oh! By the way! Did you know Naveen Andrews (Sayid) got cast as Jafar in the spin-off Once Upon a Time series? SQUEAL!

  5. Ooh, I did not know that. I didn't know there WAS a spin-off Once series...

    LOL I don't think Rumplestiltskin can really count towards the "noble" male character tally LOL but you're also right that there's less of an imbalance than there is in Lost (not that it would be hard, as you so aptly pointed out... all it takes is one male character who isn't a complete idiot...) haha.

    Still haven't watched Season 2 yet... we're in the midst of Alias, but when we're done with that, I think it's on to Once season 2...

  6. Yeah, the spin-off is going to be airing on Thursdays starting near the end of September. It's only going to run for a season and then it will be wrapped up. It's called 'Once Upon a Time in Wonderland.' I'm so excited!

    Okay, haha, true. Rumple isn't exactly noble...but he is very smart! Yeah, I guess that is all I'm trying to say. There is less of an imbalance.

    Season 2 is not on Netflix yet, but it should be soon! At least it better be. I'm about to go stark raving mad from a Once withdrawal....

  7. We taped the entire season... so we can start watching it whenever :) yeah, my husband is smart and figured out how to do that without a DVR... :)